Funny Mum Quotes

Funny mum/mom/mama/mumma/mother quotes

In preparation for Mother’s Day this year let’s have a look at some of the funny things mothers say .

Sometimes you open your mouth and hear your own mother!

But even when you’re stressed out there are some hilarious moments to be found in motherhood.

Here goes:

Everyone knows this first one..

  1. ‘Cause I said so!

2. “I said NO!”

3. “Go to your room!” With this one just remember that it’s not really a punishment if they have a TV, Wifi and devices :)…and if they’re teenagers they’re probably very happy to be there anyway.

4. Maybe I should get back to work….for a break!

5. Can I have some quiet round here please!

Then if you’re lucky enough to get it….

6. “It’s a bit quiet, they must be up to no-good!”… and they usually are!

7. Clean that mess up! And for us foul-mouthed mothers that’ll be “Clean that sh*t up!”

My language certainly became more colourful after I had kids.

I mean just imagine calling your kids…

8.”Little bas*****!” or “Little baskets”, yea, if only!

Remember the time when sitting on the throne was a peaceful time to relax and get lost in your thoughts?

Well, after kids you’ll be wishing and screaming…

9.”Can I have A POO in PEACE.,PLEASE!!!”

Such little private or ME-time…..

10. …Me-time? What’s that?!

Little me-time, little rest and exhaustion often leads to mums developing coping mechanisms .

Like swearing and cursing..

11. I honestly didn’t have a foul mouth until I become a mum. Maybe not the best time to

acquire the skill, but it may be the most effective… Somehow cussing just helps to

get rid of the frustration. I used to think that people that swore at their kids should be fined or

thrown in prison. Now I understand why they do it.

Colouring may also help. You can colour these mom quotes.

And should anyone challenge you about your filthy mouth, tell them…


Again, before motherhood I wondered how any parent could answer their

sweet little darling(s) with “WHAAATT?!!”.

Again, I now know!


14. “Mum, got any snacks?”, This is less a mom-quote and more a kid-quote,

and you’ll be hearing it for years.

Here’s another one you’ll be hearing for years…and having nightmares about…

unless you just happen to love cooking (I don’t!).

15. “What’s for dinner mom?”

With endless work to do for your little one(s), some days ( many days), you will wonder, “am I going round in circles?”… Let me help you out…

16. Yes, you are!! But it won’t be for ever.

For example,


So no more sitting down for dinner, after hours on your feet, and hearing your little one

shout from the bathroom..”Maaarrm, can you wipe me?”.Hahhhh.

In the meantime, march on and curse on.

18.”Which dimwit left that there?!*…you know like when you step on a Lego.

19.”Frigging muppets”

20. “Dumb like your dad”…I know, very naughty!

21. “Well, they didn’t inherit my brightness unfortunately!”

22. “I sound just like my mother!” Yes, at some point you will probably think and say this.

Ahh..The cycle of life!

Now you can go colour these sweary mom quotes and let off some steam.


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