At the start of a new relationship it’s natural to be excited and consumed by all these new wonderful feelings we’re feeling…,But it’s important to be aware of our behaviour so we don’t blow things before it even gets going.
There are a few things that we ladies do, unintentionally, that are simply a big turn-off for men, and sends them running for the hills.
Let’s take a look at five of these mistakes:
No.1 – MOVING TOO FAST TOO SOON
You may feel the burning desire to tell your great new guy you just met EVERYTHING about you. Or drop everybody and everything else in your life for him …but resist the urge to do that…here’s why.
First, guys respect a girl who has her own life, and is enjoying it, single or otherwise.
Guys value an independent lady who can do her own things without being too clingy. This means that he will still have time and space to do his own ‘guy’ things without issues. This is really important to men.
Secondly,NOT always being available for him makes him appreciate the time he gets to spend with you more. It makes you more valuable in his eyes. It’s just how we humans are…we appreciate more what we don’t get so easily. It doesn’t mean you have to play games but don’t appear to be like you’re just hanging about waiting on him. Have a life of your own independently. Have your own things going on, like hobbies, favourite past-times.
Thirdly, dropping everybody else in your life leaves you vulnerable.
You just met this great guy but you don’t really know him yet (sorry to burst your bubble!) It isnormally great at the start because everybody puts their best face forward at the beginning.
So, if a bit later down the line, it turns out that he isn’t so wonderful after all, you’ve got to start rebuilding your friendships and connections outside of your new relationship.
Even worse, if he’s controlling or abusive, this means you’ve cut yourself off from your support systems like family and friends, and that’s definitely not ideal.
Rushing can really mess up a genuinely good thing. Naturally men are not as emotionally charged as women and don’t feel comfortable getting too emotional too soon. So take your time.
So take it slowly from the start.
No.2 –CALLING OR TEXTING TOO MUCH
This fits in with moving too fast but is more about not giving your new guy space to breath, think and just be him. Men need space, they are not naturally very emotional or ‘clingy’ like women.
They need space to work out things going on in their lives, pressures, plans, goals etc(not that women don’t but men are far more like this).
Don’t call or text him one hundred times a day. Don’t tell him every little detail of what you’ve been up to either. Save some of that for when you see and share things in more detail.
Give him space to breath.
Make him wander what you are up to, by not being at his every beck and call.
Wait a little before replying to texts. Don’t appear like you’re just sitting around waiting for his call or text by replying immediately.
Let him wonder what you might be doing. It creates curiosity and appreciation for you.
Did you know that men really do focus on one thing at a time. They are not naturally gifted at multi-tasking like women, so if there’s something needing his attention more urgently, that’s where his focus goes. If you don’t speak to him for a day or two it doesn’t mean he likes you any less, he’s just dealing with what’s most pressing…so give him that space he needs to handle it ,he’ll appreciate you for it.
No.3 – PUTTING ON AN ACT/NOT BEING GENUINE
Sometimes it’s tempting to try to impress others. But really, how long can you keep up an act?
Wherever you are in your life’s journey, whoever you are, whatever you have or don’t have, whatever your flaws or weaknesses, embrace that.
One of the most attractive qualities about any individual is being genuine, just being you ….so be that! It doesn’t stop you working towards bettering yourself.
Not being yourself, or genuine, is a turn-off.
Also the little things you may hate about yourself, like fiddling, talking too fast because you’re nervous, are often what he loves about you. It’s what makes you unique, men love that difference.
No.4 – BRINGING UP THE EX.
This should go without saying, but DON’T discuss your ex,…any of them! As long as you’re done and dusted with your past relationship, it, and your ex, has no place in your new relationship.
Talking about an ex can make it seem like you still have a soft spot for them. It can also make your new date feel insecure or disrespected.
Don’t compliment or criticise any ex. Just don’t bring it up!
If he asks, just say it’s all in the past, you’re growing and you’re looking forward.
No.5 –TRYING TO ‘FIX’ HIM
Hardly anybody appreciates being told they’re not quite good enough as they are. That goes for your new catch!
Most of us ladies would not appreciate our new man giving us advise on make up, dress style etc
Similarly, most men don’t see themselves as needing fixing or changing, either.
So try not to advise him how to dress, talk, walk or anything else(unless he specifically asks you).
Accept him as he is. This is so important for establishing a connection in the beginning.
When you are more solid in your relationship you can both talk about your wants, desires, ideas and suggestions for improving together. But for now, he (and you, of course) wants to be accepted as good enough.